10-Date Challenge....What?
Why? Same as always:) to meet more Christian singles in an uplifting and defined space for dating.
What is it & how does it work?
Through a series of 5 online double dates (or sometimes triple dates) you will be 'randomly' introduced to 10 Christian singles of the gender and approximate age range you wish to date!
I have chosen double (or triple) dates so that each person can pick a consistent wing-man/wing-woman to be with them each time - to help things be more causal and comfortable when embarking on meeting 10 new ladies or men! :)
It is easiest for me if your wing-man or wing-woman is of the age range as you (within 5 years of your age) and the same gender as you (and wanting to date the same gender as you) - but if needed, guys can pick girls to be their wing-partner (and vice-versa). It will work too! - I have a master plan :)
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The dates will be a comfortable 30-60 minutes :). They will occur over 5 weeks (or less), with one or two 'blind date nights' a week. :)
Since this group's goal is to serve others by following the example of Christ, here are two points relevant to the 10 date challenge:
#1) Every person you meet is priceless to God. Your calling, then, is to encourage and serve each person you meet on this 10-date journey- regardless of whether you think they will make a good romantic partner for you.
If you decide early into the date that you do not see romantic potential, then please focus your energy on how to care for them. Maybe you know someone that would make a great date for them or there is an insightful encouragement you can share with them or maybe you can just give them a fun night of laughs. :) I think you will meet people you connect with well in the 5 weeks (based on how most speed dating events go) but either way, ....please date to serve. :)
#2) Wisdom is knowing that every person you meet is a door to meeting others - to bless them as much as to bless you. It is not 'using or misleading others' if you say, 'hey, if you know of anyone you think might be fun for me to meet, please let me know and would you like me to do the same for you?'
---------So, next steps:----
#1 Be picking a partner now - and A) getting their consent -and B) times when both of your schedules are open for meeting others.
#2 Be picking only wing-men/wing-women that you think would make a great partner for someone and who is also a Christian single. :)
#3) Go to the general 'mailing list' sign-up sheet on this website (there is only one) and fill it out. If this is your first time to this site- please fill out the whole form. If you've filled out my forms before - just complete section 1 this time. :)
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More Details:
If you do 'click well' and want to see them again, you can invite them to a group event to get to know them better - keeping it very casual, or say that 'you would like to talk again and would that be ok' and get their contact info. Ask them any way you'd like.
Note to men: Know that when a lady says 'yes' to early date invitations, it is often as 'a maybe he'd make a nice friend' but that is at least 50% of the time not a bad sign. Women register 'attraction' at a different pace than men often and often require more time with someone to feel open to dating. Many ladies like to be friends first, so if she say's she's open to meeting again as friends ' and if she follows up and comes to more than one of the 'group/friends' events you invite her to 'it is a step in a positive direction.' The friends word is a 'friend zone' if she, on the most part, doesn't follow through to group 'friend hang-out times' you invite her to and if she always/most often says no to 'one-on-one' invites. This is not how it works for everyone, but is how I see it play out most often.
Ladies, if you think a Christian guy you meet really would be a cool guy to get to know more, even as 'just friends' - meaning: someone that if you saw him later at a church event you would actually want to walk over to and say hi to him and even invite him out with your friends for for a fun meal or hike, - this is a good guy to see again - even just 'as friends'. ......These are the guys that so often women I talk to tell me that "though they only thought of him as a 'friend' a year or so ago, they had not idea of just how amazing, kind, smart, godly and romantic he was they are falling in love and so glad to be dating now. "
Give it a chance - you are doing yourself a big favor! Don't try to figure out the whole future based on what you know about someone in the first 5 minutes. If the worst case scenario is he turns out to be 'just a great friend', this is still a cool thing! Also, if the two of you click well as friends, it is likely his friends and your friends will connect well together too - and out of all of those connections you and he and more people will find love.
Afraid of leading him on? Just don't accept any (or many) 'one-on-one' invitations from him until you feel more attraction and interest in him. Until then, enjoy hanging out in groups:) ...but do get to know him more.
Happy Dating! Happy Serving!
Rebekah
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"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." - Philippians 2:4