Speed Dating...Really?
Why do you sometimes use Speed Dating events? How can that be enough time to get to know someone?
Glad you asked!
It is not enough time know if you want to be in a dating relationship with someone, but days might not be enough time to decide that either...
Seven minutes is just enough time to get a 'gut feeling' for someone to the point where you can decide if 'you'd like to have a cup of coffee with them to get to know them more".
That's it. That's the purpose. And it leaves enough time to do that with 3-15 people in one night. :)
Seven minutes can also save you from spending a hour or more (plus traffic) meeting someone you chatted with online to then realize you have less in common with them than you thought....just as the food arrives...
The comment I hear most often from introverts who have attended my speed dating events is how much fun they had though they had been nervous before coming. These individuals realized that 7 minutes is short enough to avoid most awkward silences and gives people more structure than many other social events.
Please see below to understand more of the steps and details and how I keep everyone's preferences confidential -and do the matching for you!
More About How it Works
I confidentially collect feedback forms from all attendees about each person that they met during an event, and, if there is mutual interest expressed by attendees on these forms, I let both people know. It's that simple. Now they are off to a casual 'coffee date' to learn more about each other.
And, you don't have to worry if you tell me you have an interest in someone but they, per their form, are not ready to meet yet, because I do not tell them of your interest. I simply give you feedback from looking at their form - but I do not speak with them further.
The reverse is also true! If people tell me they are interested in you (but you do not choose them on your event form), you will never know they were interested. It's confidential. :)
Why do I do it this way?
So that there are no awkward feelings later if you meet someone at church or another event.
Even better, this gives you the chance to continue to build a friendship with someone who, after they know you better, might grow to love you (even if after just 7 minutes they did not feel a 'yes' yet). *Guys, please note that, generally speaking, women take longer to realize who they like...!
Speed dating keeps your options open and jump starts those with mutual interest early on!
A helpful note:
Choosing someone on an event form expresses a desire to get to know someone better but is not a 'commitment'. It is not 'courting'. It is just getting to know people in fun settings to see if you might want to date them more seriously over time. I hope people will have multiple casual coffees with different people before deciding who they want to spend more time with. It leaves more time for prayer and wisdom in who you choose! :) Just my suggestion!
Free? How does that work?
If you attend an event and submit your completed preferences form withing 48 hours (& most people submit their preferences form that night) then the event is 100% free to you and I return your full deposit -of typically $25 to you (less any possible Paypal fees). :)
The purpose of the deposit is simply to hold your spot and ensure people have the best time possible by minimizing last minute 'no-shows' - so we can keep a healthy male to female ratio!
This is for Speed dating events when a church gives us free space or for online Speed dating events over Zoom (which are surprisingly successful!:). For in-person events where space or food must be purchased, a Speed Dating ticket will be provided at cost (no mark-up for profit), and that amount will not be refunded).
...more 'fine print' details below:
If someone cancels with 72 hours or more advance notice, they will get a 100% refund (less PayPal fees). Also, if an event is cancelled due to weather or another reason that I cannot control - money is 100% refunded less Paypal fees...unless I am still 'on the hook' to pay the venue & then I will simply offer a credit to you and schedule a new event (possibly online) for you. In these rare cases, I hope you will give this ministry grace, as it is a volunteer ministry and it is impossible to cover 'venue costs' on my own! :)
In all cases, for those who cancel in under 72 hours and/or are no-shows -- or who fail to return a completed event preferences feedback form within 48 hours - their deposit is 100% donated to charity! :) The charity I have chosen for Spring & Summer 2021 speed dating events is http://communityofhopehaiti.org/. I am pleased to show receipts for these donations at anytime.
The deposit range is from $25-$40. I sometimes reduce the deposit as needed for people, or for those volunteering etc., but either way this is a refundable deposit or simply the cost to cover a venue and food. :) :)
Once I am sure you have a spot at an event, I will send you an email/PayPal invoice or Venmo, etc. for the small deposit at that time. God bless!
Any more FAQ's?
Do you have a speed dating question that I did not answer well here? Please let me know so I can add the answer to this page! Just email info@singlesocials.com or singlesocialsboston@gmail.com
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