Glad you asked!
It is not enough time know if you want to be in a dating relationship with someone, but days might not be enough time to decide that either...
Seven minutes is just enough time to get a 'gut feeling' for someone to the point where you can decide if 'you'd like to have a cup of coffee with them to get to know them more".
That's it. That's the purpose. And it leaves enough time to do that with 3-15 people in one night. :)
Seven minutes can also save you from spending a hour or more (plus traffic) meeting someone you chatted with online to then realize you have less in common with them than you thought....just as the food arrives...
The comment I hear most often from introverts who have attended my speed dating events is how much fun they had though they had been nervous before coming. These individuals realized that 7 minutes is short enough to avoid most awkward silences and gives people more structure than many other social events.
Please see below to understand more of the steps and details and how I keep everyone's preferences confidential -and do the matching for you!
I confidentially collect feedback forms from all attendees about each person that they met during an event, and, if there is mutual interest expressed by attendees on these forms, I let both people know. It's that simple. Now they are off to a casual or virtual 'coffee date' to learn more about each other.
And, you don't have to worry if you tell me you have an interest in someone but they, per their form, are not ready to meet yet, because I do not tell them of your interest. I simply give you feedback from looking at their form - but I do not speak with them further.
The reverse is also true! If people tell me they are interested in you (but you do not choose them on your event form), you will never know they were interested. It's confidential. :)
Why do I do it this way?
So that there are no awkward feelings later if you meet someone at church or another event.
Even better, this gives you the chance to continue to build a friendship with someone who, after they know you better, might grow to love you (even if after just 7 minutes they did not feel a 'yes' yet). *Guys, please note that, generally speaking, women take longer to realize who they like...!
Speed dating keeps your options open and jump starts those with mutual interest early on!
A helpful note:
Choosing someone on an event form expresses a desire to get to know someone better but is not a 'commitment'. It is not 'courting'. It is just getting to know people in fun settings to see if you might want to date them more seriously over time. I hope people will have multiple casual coffees and dinners with different people in any given few months before deciding who they want to spend more time with. It leaves more time for prayer and wisdom in who you choose. That's my suggestion. :)
Occasionally I will host a "Men's Choice" or "Ladies' Choice" event where those who attend can request 1-2 people that they would like for me to invite so they can get to know them better.
How do I do this confidentially? (If you'd like those I ask not to know you requested them)
I use the contact info you give me and email/send them as message such as "their presence has been requested by someone attending my event or I feel they will be a helpful addition to the group".
If they are not already in our group I will NOT add them to my mailing list unless they request to attend an event. I use their contact info only to invite them to the event and then I toss it out:).
You can ask a friend to invite those you are thinking of dating or you can invite them. :) If, however, you prefer for me to 'confidentially invite them', then please give me their email or Facebook link, etc. and I will do my best. :)
God bless you!
Please note: Why do I go through so much effort to keep people's feelings confidential until there is mutual interest?
Because I know the 'church world/pool of other Christian singles to meet in Boston' is relatively small. It is likely you will bump into these great people later at other events or bible studies, etc. ...I want to give you the best chance for feelings to grow naturally over time - even if they did not occur quickly early on. ....Also, this is how my husband and I met and married. We were connected by trusted friends who knew of our mutual interest in each other before we knew it!
In addition, it took my knowing my husband for a while before I also became interested in dating. That is so typical for many relationships!
If you attend an event and submit a completed event preferences form (withing 24 hours -most people submit it that night) then the event is 100% free to you (other than PayPal fees:). I return your deposit!
The purpose of the deposit to hold your spot and ensure people have the best time possible by minimizing 'no-shows' and keep a healthy male to female ratio.
If someone cancels with 72 hours or more advance notice they will get a 100% refunded (less PayPal fees).
For those who cancel in under 72 hours or are no-shows -- or who fail to return a completed event preferences feedback form within 24 hours - their deposit is 100% donated (less PayPal fees) to charity! :) The charity I have chosen for Spring & Summer 2020 speed dating events is http://communityofhopehaiti.org/. I am pleased to show receipts for these donations at anytime.
The deposits range from $25-$40. (For those who presence was requested by other members, there may be a smaller deposit).
Once I am sure you have a spot at an event, I will send you an email/PayPal invoice for the small deposit at that time.
Do you have a speed dating question that I did not answer well here? Please let me know so I can add the answer to this page! Just email email@example.com.